Many times i think about just jumping and ending it all, what a cowardly thought.
I try to find purpose in my life and i have not managed to find any yet.
I think about how much my family needs me now and i think twice about the abyss.
Who am i living for? Myself or for others?
I dont need me, they need me.
I force myself to move, to go out with friends, to go out cycling, to go climbing.
Because i know, if i isolate myself i am only making whatever is going on in my head worse.
I have been feeling numb for so long. I laugh without feeling that happy, i see death happening and not feel as sorry as i should have.
Showing expressions becomes a practise instead of a need.
I need to find my way out of this soon.
Artist Name: Ari Koivunen aka Phoenix Jacket